Via Negativa vs Via Positiva
There is a framework of reference for classification of theological and spiritual paths that is called Via Negativa. It applies the idea of definition by elimination or by exhaustion, somewhat akin to subtraction. As 'the Tao that can be told is not the eternal Tao' (TTC Chapter 1), we could seek to describe the Tao in terms of what it is not (it doesn't take sides, it was never born, it is inexhaustible, infinite, empty). Even though that which is beyond understanding cannot be described in words or symbols, the Tao can be known through practicing Wu Wei and becoming empty (Darkness within darkness).
If you open yourself to the Tao,you are at one with the Tao and you can embody it completely. (TTC Chapter 23)
The Via Positiva approach is that we can describe and know the ultimate (God) through means of positive statements such as 'God is love (John 4:16)' or 'The primordial Buddha is pure and total consciousness'. When we have deep spiritual experiences that fill us with gratitude, joy and love, the idea is that we are filled with the grace of God and get in touch with the divine, inside and outside our selves.
Another way to look at these paths is that on one path you become less and less identified with structures until you finally realize 'I am nothing', whereas on the other path the experiences lead you to realize 'I am everything'. Since 'things' separate from 'self' dissolve in the non-dualistic experience - 'nothing' and 'everything' are the same - 'I am'.
There are many spiritual paths and they could be classified as either Via Positiva or Via Negativa. What path to take is a personal choice and they should all eventually lead to the supreme reality or God consciousness. The Via Negativa does not imply that the positive way is wrong but considers the danger of the ego becoming lost in a structure of concepts and theories. Similarly the Via Positiva can prevent people from becoming completely disconnected from society or from becoming inactive or apathetic. Whatever your path may be, it is your natural path and it has taken you exactly to where you should be (right here, right now) and will take you exactly where you need to go.
Ayahuasca
Ayahuasca is a brew used historically by indigenous tribes in the upper Amazon during shamanic healing ceremonies, to generate spiritual experiences and to heal emotional and psychological issues. Ayahuasca is considered a hallucinogenic decoction and can produce strong psychedelic experiences with considerable emotional responses.
For those people that have deeply spiritual experiences with it, Ayahuasca is considered to be like the fast lane on the Via Positiva. On the other hand, Ayahuasca can effectively be used to break down the ego and break associations, attachments and habits. Therefore, Ayahuasca might also be considered the fast lane on the Via Negativa. With a clear and purposeful intention, one might be able to work together with Ayahuasca to create a personal experience on either path.
What if...
So how would a Taoist experience Ayahuasca? Would they stay neutral and find the emptiness even when being bombarded by audio-visual and sensory hallucinations pushing them into an altered state of consciousness? This is an interesting question but highly speculative. Easier to answer is this question - how would I experience an Ayahuasca ceremony? Can Ayahuasca drive me on the Via Negativa highway and then onto the Via Positiva highway without crashing?
Only one way to find out.
I registered for a 4-day Ayahuasca retreat with Avalon, a highly rated organization in Spain that organizes healing retreats with proper support services and Ayahuasca-friendly catering. In order to prepare the mind and body for the retreat, I followed a prescribed diet for two weeks before the ceremony and clearly set my intentions. The diet is there to avoid chemical incompatibilities with the medicine that result in vomiting and diarrhea, aka 'purging'. Naturally one has to manage their mindset when dealing with strong psychedelic experiences. As there are three Ayahuasca ceremonies held in the 4 days, my mindset is around first getting a general experience in the first session, then on the second session to see if Ayahuasca can help dissolve some structures (Via Negativa) and reserve the last ceremony to walk the Via Positiva.
The retreat provided an excellent setting in a beautiful hotel used for marriage ceremonies surrounded by lush green meadows, a lake and nice paths through lightly forested areas. The ceremonies themselves took place inside a large room with floor-to-ceiling windows and access to the outside where a fire was maintained for those who preferred an outdoor setting. The atmosphere inside was cozy and welcoming with mats and pillows for all, an open space for dancing or movement around a central station where the shaman would sit with other tribe members and support staff. Before entering the ceremonial space, everyone would be cleared by means of a ritual using smoke from what smelled like white sage. The space itself was smudged with sage and possibly different herbs.
As I enter for the first session I can feel a sensation of group anticipation but the overall atmosphere is comfortable and relaxing. I sit down on a mat that allows for a good overview of the room, provides an easy exit path to the toilets (in case of purging) and the outside patio, and faces the shaman's seat. After a few minutes in meditative posture I feel the group's Qi (energy) rise as everyone prepares to engage in a shared ritual. In order to get into the optimal condition for the Ayahuasca ceremony, the lead shamanic practitioners offer a Rapé ceremony where a tobacco-based snuff is shot into the two nasal cavities (left, then right). This certainly hits the spot; within a minute I feel a sudden and powerful energetic lift that shoots through my body and the three dantiens start humming and vibrating. I start to tremble slightly and the body cools down rapidly. But within minutes, a calm sense of stability descends and for the next 15 minutes I feel completely centered and perfectly conscious and aware of the interior and the exterior processes and sensations. Bring on the Ayahuasca.
And they do; for the first two hours or so there is little reaction noticeable in terms of physical or audio-visual sensations, except for the body feeling tingly and light with high qi circulation. Many of the people around me are puking violently as it was suggested that especially during the first night it is usual to experience the purging process. Possibly thanks to sticking to the diet, my body seems to accept the Ayahuasca brew without difficulty and I am grateful for it. About ten minutes after having drank a third cup of the medicine, things start to change and my sensory and audio-visual perception is taken for a spin. Everything seems to come alive, become more colorful, combine with other objects and morph into different shapes and things. They say that after having properly set your intention, you should let Ayahuasca take over and deliver on that intention in her own way (In shamanism, Ayahuasca is often described as a feminin spirit that enters the consciousness and directs the experience as she sees fit). So I ride the wave of sensations in a neutral state without resistance and it's thoroughly enjoyable. The shaman, tribe members and other shamanic practitioners work together to deliver a musical performance that seems to direct the Ayahuasca experience perfectly. From simple melodic tunes from a pan flute or acoustic guitar to sweeping rhythmic concerts, the music is always moving and very delightful.
In the line-up to enter the sacred ceremony space on the second night, the group energy feels different. People are excited; through the integration sessions we have started to connect and the everyone is eager to jump in with a sort of warrior spirit. This energy is underlined in outfits, red face paint and accessories worn by tribe members and other attendees. I enter the space, occupy a mat adjacent to the previous night, settle into a meditative posture and observe. After the rapé is blown into the nostrils I return to my seat and position myself quickly, ready to take in the experience. Apparently the rapé mix they used is more powerful, as it completely overtakes my body. A very strong energy shoots from the base of my spine through my skull and all energy centers start spinning at the same time. I experience shaking in the spine, a huge heat wave coming over my body, sweat pouring out and everything turns bright white. I can clearly feel all chakras vibrating, but can also distinctly feel energy centers spinning above the skull, which is a sensation that I have no encountered previously. This state continues for a while as my body has a hard time staying in meditative posture with all the vibrations going on along the line of the spine. After a while the body starts to manage and I start to become aware of the environment and exchange energy with others in the room. During all this, the mind is neutral albeit somewhat excited. I close my eyes, center myself to the lower dantien and pass the remaining time in presence.
The sacred brew is being served, so I return to the intention of going down the Via Negativa. I ask for the Ayahuasca to take me to the deepest darkest place she can take me and break down whatever egoic structure she can find...
And again, she delivers. This time there is no period of enjoyment or light dancing audio-visual playfulness; I am being taken on a path straight to egoic hell as by request. For hours I am being subjected to all kinds of dark sensory, auditory and visual hallucinations. I feel like being pushed, pulled, bitten, whispered to in incomprehensible words; there are demons visiting, a mirror dancing right in front of my face showing some contorted self-image and various scenes of nightmarish torture whether my eyes are open or closed. This goes on for hours and hours, and I literally feel my ego and belief structure being de-composed and completely undone. In the middle of all this, I surrender and realize a complete peace inside and a level of comfort that comes from knowing that I cannot be touched. I am simply not there. That realization does nothing to stop the intensity or quality of the demonic sensations, but I am fully neutral and open to the experience. They announce the closing ceremony and the hallucinations stop as abrupt as they started and all is done. The ego is beaten and bruised but inside of it I feel completely re-wired, empty and still. Mission accomplished.
The third night is all about walking the Via Positiva and this time I join in the group and feel connected the moment we walk into the space. A perfect setting as through the integration talks we have formed a bond and we're like a little Ayahuasca family celebrating life. The rapé has a lighter impact but enjoyable and as I mentally prepare for the Ayahuasca I start naturally exchanging energy with the group - sending and receiving energy from|to the heart. I ask for the Ayahuasca to show me love. The brew is again much stronger than the previous session and the sensations get stronger and stronger throughout the night. But this time it feels light and warm and as I start dancing to the music, a sense of energetic connectedness comes over me. I play with the energy that flows inside and outside the body, and can see, feel and manipulate the energetic waves that radiate from and into the heart chakras of the group members. As directed by magic, the group starts howling and a wolf pack is born. If I was in hell yesterday, then today I am in heaven. At least - for the first few hours..
Sleep deprivation kicks in after several long nights with very little sleep due to circumstances that seemed designed to keep me up especially the day before. I am not used to meditate in conditions of strong fatigue so my mind resists as the body is asking for sleep. This resistance during a powerful Ayahuasca trip takes me off-course and becomes overwhelming. I become restless and wonder how I could possibly fall asleep with all these sensations going on and no way to slow them down. Luckily, a tribe-member from the Mira family sees me and asks if I need help. Specifically he says that the Ayahuasca told him to go help me as I would not have asked for it myself. I recognize the perfect synchronicity, agree with the diagnostic and happily accept the offer. He performs some shamanic ritual of energetic clearing where I get whipped with a feather fan from all angles, he sings using deep vibrations and rhythms that seem so strange to me but at the same time is very effective as I calm down. We hug and right after he leaves another tribe member from the Mira family sits down next to me and we talk. He shares knowledge from his tribe, concepts, rituals and ways of thinking and dealing with different situations. I reflect and share insight into Taoist parallels, Tai Chi theory and how everything is about Yin and Yang in both Taoist and shamanic perspectives. He asks me what Zodiac sign I am - Gemini. He relates that to the Tai Chi symbol and how I will always recognize the Yin and Yang in all experiences, an insight I had never received before. I realize that his words have effectively transformed me to feeling perfectly connected and in full understanding. I convey to him that he is a portal to me - bringing me from a place of overwhelmed confusion to a higher state of consciousness. When he shares that his last name is in fact 'Portal' - I see a web of complex synchronicity and a sense of a higher plan that fits perfectly. He says that the Ayahuasca guides his words and that he naturally felt compelled to sit and talk with me. Sometimes the Ayahuasca talks in visions, sometimes through a person. They close the ceremony and I leave the space feeling extremely tired but at the same time completely connected. Again - mission accomplished.
Conclusion
Everyone is on their own path and has their own needs, thoughts and issues. As a Taoist I do not put much weight on opinions, feelings, belief systems or any kind of organizational or mental constructs and therefore feel it beneficial to experience things for myself. On the spiritual path - some people need to feel connected whereas others need to detach themselves to overcome egoic hindrances. My experience with Ayahuasca shows me that I can successfully work with it on either path. While the third session on Via Positiva (outside of sleep deprivation) was much more enjoyable and I felt on top and a connected part of a larger plan; the second session might have been drastically more effective in terms of the dissolution of egoic attachments. It's a personal journey for everyone and what works for me might not work for you at this time. If you consider going down the road of Ayahuasca and are interested in an opinion, then I would say that it seems important to have a solid support structure -- in terms of integration sessions, a setting in nature and directed by an organization that understands your needs. And if you decide to do something like this - jump into it completely, trust in the process and the medicine. She knows.
This is a link to Avalon, Spain reviews